This site contains a reverse-chronological list of chat and message board (but primarily chat) quotes collected by SuitCase over the last few years. The current page shows all quotes from the year 2007 onwards.

2nd of August, 2015

<Evokin> on one of my last shifts i had a black tell me something like “thanks nigger”
<Evokin> and im white

16th of November, 2013

SuitCase: Messages is now eating up every sent iMessage. So I can use it to talk to people over iMessage but the chat log is just one-sided, showing only the person talking to me.
SuitCase: It’s maddening. The worst thing Apple has ever done ever.
SuitCase: Worse than enslaving children.
Sammybeany: Asians can always produce more kids, but these conversations are one of a kind.

5th of February, 2012

<Luckett> in a way, the whole brony thing is an efficient way of knowing exactly who to cut all contact with

22nd of December, 2011

<jmmms> I’ve bought you some electrosex cock jewellery for christmas
<SuitCase> To my best friends and sibblings I thank you too for your awesome encouragements and support.
<jmmms> To my best friends and sibblings I thank you too for your awesome encouragements and support. I’ve bought you electrosex cock jewellery for christmas.

27th of November, 2011

<LackLuster> Someone wake me up when the price of hard drives drop again
<znooths> youre gonna be sleepin for a long time buddy boy

21st of November, 2011

<jmmms> jackel you are a destructive idiot who contributes nothing to anything

24th of September, 2011

<jmmms> there is such a genre of music in my mind as "sega saturn demo menu music" you know. occasionally I go through life and hear something and think hey that sounds like sega saturn demo menu music

22nd of September, 2011

<SuitCase> recall that books shipped to the USA avert this problem, as do the ones that go through amazon as it's understood they use a different system
<SuitCase> but the ones in the middle, the canadian\last resort option, that is the one we must charge $14 for
<jmmms> the amazon one uses amazon's own shop system I assume?
<SuitCase> yes
<jmmms> okay
<SuitCase> i don't feel the need to explain to people that the shipping is more there, spreadshirt also charge their own shipping
<jmmms> ermmm hm
<jmmms> maybe just have to bite the bullet
<jmmms> We won't charge more than $10 shipping for a single order, so don't be afraid to add more items to your cart. (USA only; outside the USA, books are $14 shipping.)
<jmmms> etc.
<SuitCase> an order with a poster + non-US book would be $24 actually
<SuitCase> $14 + $10
<jmmms> this is a living nightmare
<jmmms> close the store

28th of August, 2011

<james> I could see Luckett’s Little Book of Hate being sold at waterstones counters
<james> flick to a page
<james> prick.
<james> flip to another
<james> youre shit.

28th of August, 2011

<james> btw suitcase I share your obsession with protecting words and things
<SuitCase> a fellow autist
<james> I’m afraid I’d put all your “don’t ruin” in the “stop saying” column though.
<Luckett> there he goes again
<Luckett> less is more, ra ra ra
<SuitCase> remove all nuance…
<Luckett> ever since he just became a fog with levitating glasses, he wants us all to pare down even our bodies

26th of August, 2011

<Luckett> neil hates himself, and his life
<Luckett> is this any surprise
<Luckett> i imagine when he is all alone, he just screams sometimes

27th of July, 2011

<Susan> I have eaten deep dish four or five times
<Susan> Palermo’s was better
<Susan> i think they won a medal for it suitcase
<Susan> or something
<Susan> you should have tried some red hots or italian beef instead suitcase
<SuitCase> you’re an italian beef
<Gnukko> suitcase
<Gnukko> get to italy
<Gnukko> seriously
<SuitCase> what do italians know about pizza
<TD> Heh
<SuitCase> when i go to italy i’ll be eating everything don’t worry gnukko
<Gnukko> good
<Susan> suitcase you already eat everything you fat fuck

27th of July, 2011

<james> ughh hm.
<james> ‘Thanks for your interest and all your help with this exciting book adventure.’ is fine
<james> the next bit is tricky
<james> you can’t say ‘everyone in the world’ unless you expect to sell 8 billion copies
<james> but there’s very little flow in that whole sequence
<Luckett> remove all the flavour. remove all the advert.
<SuitCase> i really do agree with luckett sometimes. i instinctually write a lot of stuff that you want to remove and while i can understand why you want to remove it it does sometimes remove flavour.
<james> no fuck you
<Luckett> hello, I am Mr Smith Brown. would you like a loan today?
<Luckett> (ps I am an android.)
<james> smith isn’t a first name you cunt.
<james> I would suggest ed or john

7th of June, 2011

<Taeshi> but sorry about your grandfather, what’s wrong with him?
<ConSiGno> well he has dementia, and can’t remeber what year it is
<Taeshi> Aww :( i’m sorry, that’s the worst shit
<SammyCat> That’s really awful. Seeing people more or less lose their mind is really difficult.
<ConSiGno> yeah, I know :(
<SammyCat> How long has he been like this?
<jackel> :(
<ConSiGno> since October
<SammyCat> Oh, gee.
<SammyCat> Is his health failing, otherwise? Or does it look like this could linger for a long time?
<ConSiGno> well, he had cancer but it’s pretty much gone, and he’s lived 20 years more than he should have since he has asbestosis
<Taeshi> wow he’s a fighter
<ConSiGno> well, he seems to be in regret that he never told his wife stuff he kept hidden for years
<ConSiGno> depression makes it worse
<Taeshi> That sucks, I’m sorry.
<james> I like it

26th of May, 2011

<Luckett> going back to the blurb, which is now done, my issue with it is if you take it off that cover, it would tell you nothing about the comic
<Luckett> it is completely ineffective in capturing attention, evoking flavour or playing on the strengths that attracted to people in it in the first place
<SuitCase> but it does tell you a lot about the themes of the comic, isolated from the pictures? the pictures only really tell you that it features anthropomorphic cats
<Luckett> not really. the blurb describes a comic that takes itself pretty seriously
<Luckett> as I said, james is a very good technical writer and his dry theroux act will go well for some stuff, but in terms of advertising he is a non-event. dry, plain and cold stand-offish text
<SuitCase> because he eliminates words? isn’t that called being sharp and punchy
<Luckett> not when youre saying nothing at all.
<james> it tells you shitloads about the story fuck off
<james> you have a clearly tongue-in-cheek tone, two characters, a setting, and conflict
<james> that is a fucking story
<james> whether you want to read that story is veronica’s problem
<Luckett> not really, its the blurbs problem
<Luckett> and thats why you fail at advertising
<Luckett> too stuck on the clinical than the “make people buy”
<james> oh yes you’re the fucking advertising master aren’t you
<james> hang on suitcase let’s get some fucking puns in
<james> it’s a purrfect fucking comic there done
<Luckett> well I do it for a living now, day in and day out you unemployed global vagrant?
<SuitCase> hahaha
<james> luckett you get paid by some shit company with editors you yourself have decried as syntactical fuckpigs to write fucking nonsensical puns for hair salons.
<james> you do not have a career you have an internet scam

25th of December, 2010

<snoofs> sandra and woo kill you take ya money and when you ask why he did it
<snoofs> nigga will tell ya
<snoofs> “cuz i wanted to”

Late October, 2010

<SuitCase> right luckett
<SuitCase> are you done with your gassing around
<Luckett> gas will be my life shortly enough, you should never take gas lightly even though technically it is the lightest substance there is
<SuitCase> gasssss
<Luckett> it will be a concern that for every hour of the working day, i will be just on the precipice of screaming “GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS! GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS!” down the phone at a random caller

Late October, 2010

<Taeshi> yeah souppy is a pedo
<Frustrater_Writer> xD
<SuitCase> sick of your shit
<Taeshi> he’s all like “hey vero you look like you’re twelve that’s hot”
<Taeshi> and I was like “uguu”
<SpaceMouse> hahahaha
<SuitCase> well yeah that’s true you are my loli
<SuitCase> vero get more diapers tomorrow k
<SuitCase> i need some excitement
<Taeshi> goo goo <3
<Frustrater_Writer> *screenshot*
<Kou> why haven’t any cops arrested him yet?
<Jacob83> …
<Taeshi> hahahahahahahahahahaa
<Taeshi> hahahahahaahahahahahahahahahaha
<SuitCase> kou is really cute sometimes
<Taeshi> i love you kochan

19th of October, 2010

<Zoe> its more of an opinion actually
<Zoe> so
<Zoe> Ive been working on the game design for the BCB beat em up but I cant yet figure out a good name for it
<Zoe> two possibilities I have thought of are the following
<Zoe> Bittersweet Candy Bowl: The last hope
<Zoe> Bittersweet Candy Bowl: The rise of heroes
<Suit> because the concept is absurd i’d just do a parody title
<Suit> super bittersweet fighter zero EX world championship edition alpha
<Suit> mortal katbat
<Zoe> Im aiming towards something more serious actually
<Suit> soul calipurr
<Zoe> fighting != beat em up
A few minutes
<Suit> god dammit i just spent like 5 minutes trying to think of a streets of rage pun and i failed
<Suit> feline fight
<Suit> .. cat.. crashers
<Zoe> that one was lame
<Suit> dynamite cat
<Suit> that’s not even very obvious
<Zoe> anyways…
<Suit> i suggest you change it to a fighting game and make it soul calipurr.
<Suit> that was my favourite.
<Zoe> yeah that was a good pun

11th of September, 2010

Sammybeany: Oh well, I should play some fun games on my white iPhone 4. OH WAIT.
Segaholic2: White iPhones are for fags
Sammybeany: I agree.
Sammybeany: It’s still pretty funny that they can’t actually make them, though.
Sammybeany: I guess Steve Jobs hasn’t been ejaculating enough to create the amount of white pigment they need. Probably a byproduct of being some half dead cancer faggot.
Sammybeany: Poor Steve and his broken boner.

27th of June, 2010

Sammybeany: It sucks that my choices are iPhoto, which does things in a logical way that normal people can appreciate but is kind of limited in features, and Aperture, which has tons of features but is set up for crazy people that go out and take millions of pictures of hummingbirds and have no lives.

22nd of June, 2010

<CSonicGo> Link to some Megaman Doom mod. mein augen
<Luckett> no one fucking cares about your WAD shit csonig
<CSonicGo> Luckett, it’s not mine
<Luckett> yes we still dont care as its all you go on about
<Luckett> the rest of us have moved on from fucking Doom
<CSonicGo> I play new games too you know, they’re just not as easy to mod
<CSonicGo> or moddable at all :(
<Luckett> who gives a shit you aspie cunt
<jameses> luckett destruction
<CSonicGo> moddable games are popular, LBP and mod racers for one
<Luckett> you know when it feels like youre talking to a spam-bot, that is how broken csonig’s brain and ability to socialise is
<CSonicGo> socialise != talking about psps all day
<Luckett> notice i was talking to someone else about a subject and we shared infomation. then notice all youve been doing is posting some megaman WAD shit over and over with unfunny meme taglines to which no-one has responded except for me now, raking your retardation across hot coals
<CSonicGo> Luckett, you may have anger issues
<CSonicGo> jesus
<Luckett> an angry man is still an intelligent one, you will be retarded FOREVER
<james> one of churchill’s less quoted bon mots

13th of June, 2010

<SuitCase> who is going to luckettcon
<Neb> everyone in the jpg is coming.
<SuitCase> is marc excluded then
<Neb> that is the surpise
<Neb> SUPRISE! Marc. and then roberts face will contort to a shape no human has ever made or seen.
<jameses> >:-%

4th of February, 2010

SuitCase: Seems like Lulu accepted my 242 page PDF. It’s a total mess.
SuitCase: I just cut out random bits. I guess once I get it I can look and compare and see how it all turned out
Sammybeany: You should have asked Ulillillia to help you with it
Sammybeany: He’d have reformatted all of your pages in The Gimp by hand while listening to Bubsy music

30th of November, 2009

<Spookyblang> I like my boobs because wait no i dont
<KooshKoosh> your boob owns </sappycoupleshit>
<Wondersaurus> ugh take it to pm kooshkoosh/spookyblang
<Wondersaurus> i don’t want to throw up irl here
<Taeshi> teehee look at me we’re dating
<Taeshi> did you know we’re dating
<KooshKoosh> teehee look at me i draw a bad comic woops
<Taeshi> teehee look at me i draw no comic

10th of July, 2009

Neil Lafrenais: hee hee i’m dead ow
TaeshiLH: what
Neil Lafrenais: that’s what michael jackson is doing in heaven

5th of May, 2009

After I post a text file of all the manual additions to my OSX spelling dictionary. It contains “duffy”
<SuitCase> i believe that goes back to 2004 when i got my first ibook. i have kept it with every computer transition from thereon, because i didn’t want to have to keep adding the same words.
<popcorn> what have you been writing about me.
<masaki> Ain’t rumour anime punchline
<popcorn> what you have to do, suitcase.
<popcorn> is take this list and give it a title of something like “An Australian versus MS Word’s dictionary”. And then you will have made a poem.
<SuitCase> i told you about carol ann duffy. i wrote a big essay about her and her lesbian postmodern poems.
<popcorn> I didn’t know that.
<popcorn> I have read her lesbian postmodern poems.
<popcorn> I preferred them to gertrude stein’s lesbian postmodern poems.
<popcorn> tender buttons fuck off.
<masaki> isn’t it upsetting reading your mum’s thoughts on fannies.
<popcorn> hey do you guys want to see some cracking lesbian poetry by my old classmate dale in canada.
<popcorn> it is the most awful thing. in the world.
<SuitCase> ha ha haa
<SuitCase> i did not intend to portray myself as a strong advocate for lesbian poetry
<SuitCase> but i will absorb some more yes
<popcorn> are you ready for this lads.
<popcorn> are you ready.
<SuitCase> is it about a vagina, or cat?
<SuitCase> dualism.
<popcorn> metaphor…
<masaki> it’s really touching i might cry.

23rd of February, 2009

<popcorn> recently paul and I have been enjoying the HBO crime drama """""""""The Wire""""""""""2
<popcorn> and the main character is called mcnulty.
<popcorn> except stupid paul said during the first episode, “the main guy, what’s he called again, scroggins or something like that?” and I said, “he’s called McNulty.”
<popcorn> then stupid paul said, “right mcnulty yes,” and carried on talking, and then I said, “scroggins?”
<Popcorn> and so ever since…………… he has been called scroggins………

22nd of December, 2008

Sammybeany: Michelle and I were riding Muni and there was a big advertisement on the wall for one of the local colleges. They had some stock photo of people in graduation gowns. It was your stereotypical sort of “diverse” photo, with azns and spics and crackers. But, no black people.
Sammybeany: So, someone wrote on it in pen “where the black folk at?”
Sammybeany: And someone else wrote “not in college”
Sammybeany: Which was scribbled out
SuitCase: Hahahaha.
Sammybeany: Someone else wrote “Oakland.”

8th of November, 2008

<mas> you always a bitch you comment on all the girls photos on facebook saying “ooh you look rubbish in that dress” or “nice makup THE JOKER!!” and it’s really mean

17th of June, 2008

<Luckett> do you think if The Pain killed The Boss the secretary of defense would want to shake his hand instead
<Luckett> even tho it covered in bees

2nd of June, 2008

<popcorn> I’m gonna play some heavy metal riffs and you will die
<Luckett> guitar villain
<popcorn> I would buy guitar villain
<Luckett> essentially just the same shitty rhythm gameplay, but going around playing your guitar really loud like a cunt at inopportune moments
<Luckett> funerals, 3am outside a block of flats, business meeting
<popcorn> ha ha
<popcorn> perhaps it should just be called guitar cunt.

7th of January, 2008

Response to Squishi’s angstwhoring in Faddy’s life
Sammybeany: I’d have killed her, I think.
TaeshiLH: Ahh, I understand in that situation, then.
TaeshiLH: Souppy says he would have threatened to boot her if she didn’t shape up sooner.
Sammybeany: No pussy can be worth that. Maybe if her cunt is platinum plated and has a wet bar.
TaeshiLH: Gahahahahah ewwww.
Sammybeany: … wow, a broad mixing up a cocktail in her vagina. Hottttttt.
TaeshiLH: Poor Faddy can’t even finish to that. *Hit*
TaeshiLH: .. That sounds dangerous.
Sammybeany: Dangerously sexy.

11th of December, 2007

<noby> nik brought a computer huh
<noby> who else lamed up lemocon
<DavidTL> I didn’t bring a computer
<masaki> no but you brought a complete bitch instead

6th of November, 2007

<Popcorn> where did the name koosh koosh come from anyway
<SuitCase> Popcorn: koosh koosh is apparently some dumb slang term for vagina so it’s hilarious that his “pen name” is “vagina”
<Popcorn> it’s a good job I’m wearing tight trousers because I think my sides have split

3rd of November, 2007

<Taeshi> Lately I’ve been killing flies though so I’ve been simmering down.. because those bastards annoy me.
<Taeshi> If I could be Hitler I would extinguish all the flies.
<_5hfifty> only the jewish ones
<CSonicGo> gas them?
<Squishdiboo> Jew flies, don’t bother me.
<CSonicGo> just throw a quarter outside and hold the door open
<CSonicGo> problem solved

25th of September, 2007

<Taeshi> Also hello, Donny!
<Donnyku> hi
<Donnyku> happy fun time?
<Taeshi> I’m grading sheets.
<Donnyku> grading sheets?
<Masaki> v. good bedsheet well folded a+
<Taeshi> Grading worksheets.

2nd of September, 2007

<Omega> The corners are so tight
<Omega> Everything will break
<SuitCase> Omega: your guitar pick will get you through!
<Omega> Nope
<Omega> It will just come out of the crack
<AK> I think a thinner guitar pick is need
<Omega> Well, it fits nicely into the crack
<SuitCase> but i think you’re too scared of breaking things
<SuitCase> you have to be strong with it
<SuitCase> and ram it in there, and pry it open fairly wide, and push into it
<Omega> As hard as I can

Dirty talk in #iphone

5th of August, 2007

Fad posts pictures of his penis to #lemonade.
<SammyCat> This is a tragedy.
<SammyCat> I’m closing #lemonade.

26th of July, 2007

<SammyCat> “would you be me e-girlfriend taeshi” “oh, souppy you had me at ‘8-)’ of course I will”

16th of July, 2007

<Faccia> right
<Faccia> in a lemocon how do you refer to one another
<Masaki> well you see right I made them use my real name because the e is stupid
<Popcorn> are you saying sexton isn’t a stupid name
<Popcorn> do you see it is like you are a ton of sex
<Masaki> yes well alright my normal name is really fucking stupid as well
<Masaki> >:(
<Popcorn> ha ha prick

11th of July, 2007


The Nintendo E3 2007 conference

9th of July, 2007

<GerbilSoft> trivia
<GerbilSoft> what does a pedo store on his computer
<GerbilSoft> pedo files
<GerbilSoft> <_<

29th of June, 2007

<Tank> god, i hate the sound of a bead dropping on a hardwood floor.
<SammyCat> Try to tighten your sphincter around the anal beads more tightly next time, then.
<Fadflamer> Good god
<Tank> …………….
Tank left the chat room.

22nd of June, 2007

<Tank> evan, you and i gotta chill sometime this summer! i’ll treat you to lunch and we can hang out with my friends!
<Evan> It won’t happen.
<SuitCase> man, i wish i could chill with lily. there’d be like caviar and champagne all day long
<Tank> SHHH. XD
<SammyCat> Man, I wish I could hang out with Lily. There’d be, like, hand jobs and blow jobs all day long.

16th of June, 2007

<SuitCase> Fadsy|Striped|Pantsu: hey you
<Fadsy|Striped|Pantsu> Hey suitcase
<PerfectChaosZero> suitcase kikes penis
<SuitCase> PerfectChaosZero: fuck you we’re enemies according to blaze
<SuitCase> so get the fuck out i fucking hate you
<PerfectChaosZero> are wh
<PerfectChaosZero> we
<PerfectChaosZero> really?
<PerfectChaosZero> blaz cazy
<SuitCase> yeah, he banned me from #srb2 because you went all schizo and said that we were at war or some shit
<PerfectChaosZero> swear he hih on crack
<SuitCase> either that or he’s lying through his fat
<SammyCat> Lying through his beard, you mean.

17th of May, 2007

Response to Squishi’s angstwhoring on Moogle Cavern forum
Being yourself is great if who you are is worth being.

No matter who you are or how much you hate yourself, you’re stuck with yourself for the rest of your life. You’d might as well get around to putting up with yourself—it’s not fun trying to change stuff about you. That just comes naturally, and it’s easier that way, unless said change makes you realize you’ve been a total douchebag idiot and look upon the past with nothing but remorse. But that’d happen either way.


except I wish I was dead


16th of May, 2007

After a conversation about Microsoft banning Xboxes because of mod chips
<SuitCase> eh. i just think it’s a bad PR move and a bad business move. there’s a lot of reasons i can think of as to why they shouldn’t do it, and the only reason why i think they should do it is a bit weak in comparison.
<Luckett_X> well done, you ambivalent aussie
<Luckett_X> i assume you take the same approach when thieving ants slowly eat every biscuit in your house
<Luckett_X> sure they dont touch the steaks, but those little fucks are eating all the Digestives they possibly can
<SuitCase> are the ants the mod chips?
<SuitCase> maybe chips could be mod chips. they got into a bag of doritos veronica and i bought a few weeks ago, and we had to brush them off before eating them
<Luckett_X> i’m going to piss on you.
<Masaki> look the irrelephant has come to visit

30th of April, 2007

Regarding my eBay selling binge of 17 items
<SammyCat> Are you in desperate need of money or something?
<Evan> Sammy, stereotypical college students do anything for money.
<Luckett_X> taeshi has started charging for her services
<Luckett_X> good will only lasted so long
<SuitCase_> >:O
<SuitCase_> i paid her in pokeymans
<Luckett_X> i bet you call it your squirtle
<Luckett_X> dont you
<Luckett_X> fucking faggot

22nd of April, 2007

Regarding Lily taking Evan’s family to Australia for a holiday
<Tank> cheapest per person is like…1,500.
<Taeshi> See, Lily?
<Taeshi> So you should just kill your family and just bring Evarion with you. *Hit*
<Tank> it’s okay, i’m still coming to visit.
<Evan> Set it up so they die in a fire, collect the insurance, I’ll do the same to my parents, we go and we have a hot foursome.
<Evan> …except without that last part
<Carbon> Suitcase’s girth technically counts as two people

17th of April, 2007

<TENroaches|Rupert> What time is it there?
<TENroaches|Rupert> “quarter to roo”
<Taeshi> 1:00 A.M “XDDDDD”

7th of April, 2007

Evang1109: I only slept in because it is Good Friday.
Evang1109: It might not have been a good Friday for Jesus BUT IT WAS FOR ME.

16th of January, 2007

<alexis> Does she know that theres only like.. 3 channels on TV, and that the internet runs slower than molasses? Does she know that cars all suck, and that everyone’s accent is going to permanently make her start talking different? Does she know that theres no fresh water, and that tap water is brown? Does she know that chinese people randomly raid houses to steal insurance bonds and tax money?
<Masaki> and does she know that there are crocodiles???

11th of January, 2007

<SuitCase> croikey mahte oim joe fawks and oim gunna have moiself soim meat poies and chips
<_5hfifty> good heavens, old bean, i’m suitcase and i’m rather vexed. i have no clue wether i’m british or australian, i’m sad to say

4th of January, 2007

<DavidTL> I am currently all flustered by this behavior.
<BlinkAnjell01> oh totally
<BlinkAnjell01> like how you were last night with the sonic porn
<DavidTL> o my
<DavidTL> I TOLD YOU it was for historical purposes ;.;
<ksuno1> …
<BlinkAnjell01> since when is a penis historical =|
<DavidTL> When it’s Sonic’s.

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