This site contains a reverse-chronological list of chat and message board (but primarily chat) quotes collected by SuitCase over the last few years. The current page shows all quotes from the year 2007 onwards.
SuitCase: Seems like Lulu accepted my 242 page PDF. It’s a total mess.
SuitCase: I just cut out random bits. I guess once I get it I can look and compare and see how it all turned out
Carl: You should have asked Ulillillia to help you with it
Carl: He’d have reformatted all of your pages in The Gimp by hand while listening to Bubsy music
<Spookyblang> I like my boobs because wait no i dont
<KooshKoosh> your boob owns </sappycoupleshit>
<Wondersaurus> ugh take it to pm kooshkoosh/spookyblang
<Wondersaurus> i don’t want to throw up irl here
<Taeshi> teehee look at me we’re dating
<Taeshi> did you know we’re dating
<KooshKoosh> teehee look at me i draw a bad comic woops
<Taeshi> teehee look at me i draw no comic
<Neb> has neil really gone there …forever..
<Luckett> yes
<Luckett> he is a fucking idiot
<james> goodbye… neil……
<james> it is strip malls and barbecues for him forever.
<simon> oh do british go outside of britain do they
Topic changed to “oh do british go outside of britain do they” by james.
<Luckett> he must have the lowest self esteem in the world to settle for Mistress Pork
<james> maybe he really fancies her
<james> and fyi her name is Texas Pete.
Neil Lafrenais: hee hee i’m dead ow
TaeshiLH: what
Neil Lafrenais: that’s what michael jackson is doing in heaven
After I post a text file of all the manual additions to my OSX spelling dictionary. It contains “duffy”
<SuitCase> i believe that goes back to 2004 when i got my first ibook. i have kept it with every computer transition from thereon, because i didn’t want to have to keep adding the same words.
<popcorn> what have you been writing about me.
<masaki> Ain’t rumour anime punchline
<popcorn> what you have to do, suitcase.
<popcorn> is take this list and give it a title of something like “An Australian versus MS Word’s dictionary”. And then you will have made a poem.
<SuitCase> i told you about carol ann duffy. i wrote a big essay about her and her lesbian postmodern poems.
<popcorn> I didn’t know that.
<popcorn> I have read her lesbian postmodern poems.
<popcorn> I preferred them to gertrude stein’s lesbian postmodern poems.
<popcorn> tender buttons fuck off.
<masaki> isn’t it upsetting reading your mum’s thoughts on fannies.
<popcorn> hey do you guys want to see some cracking lesbian poetry by my old classmate dale in canada.
<popcorn> it is the most awful thing. in the world.
<SuitCase> ha ha haa
<SuitCase> i did not intend to portray myself as a strong advocate for lesbian poetry
<SuitCase> but i will absorb some more yes
<popcorn> are you ready for this lads.
<popcorn> are you ready.
<popcorn> http://www.splinterswerve.com/kwong_feral.html
<SuitCase> is it about a vagina, or cat?
<SuitCase> dualism.
<popcorn> metaphor…
<masaki> it’s really touching i might cry.
<popcorn> recently paul and I have been enjoying the HBO crime drama """""""""The Wire""""""""""2
<popcorn> and the main character is called mcnulty.
<popcorn> except stupid paul said during the first episode, “the main guy, what’s he called again, scroggins or something like that?” and I said, “he’s called McNulty.”
<popcorn> then stupid paul said, “right mcnulty yes,” and carried on talking, and then I said, “scroggins?”
<Popcorn> and so ever since…………… he has been called scroggins………
Sammybeany: Michelle and I were riding Muni and there was a big advertisement on the wall for one of the local colleges. They had some stock photo of people in graduation gowns. It was your stereotypical sort of “diverse” photo, with azns and spics and crackers. But, no black people.
Sammybeany: So, someone wrote on it in pen “where the black folk at?”
Sammybeany: And someone else wrote “not in college”
Sammybeany: Which was scribbled out
SuitCase: Hahahaha.
Sammybeany: Someone else wrote “Oakland.”
<mas> you always a bitch you comment on all the girls photos on facebook saying “ooh you look rubbish in that dress” or “nice makup THE JOKER!!” and it’s really mean
<Luckett> do you think if The Pain killed The Boss the secretary of defense would want to shake his hand instead
<Luckett> even tho it covered in bees
<popcorn> I’m gonna play some heavy metal riffs and you will die
<Luckett> guitar villain
<popcorn> I would buy guitar villain
<Luckett> essentially just the same shitty rhythm gameplay, but going around playing your guitar really loud like a cunt at inopportune moments
<Luckett> funerals, 3am outside a block of flats, business meeting
<popcorn> ha ha
<popcorn> perhaps it should just be called guitar cunt.
Response to Squishi’s angstwhoring in Faddy’s life
Sammybeany: I’d have killed her, I think.
TaeshiLH: Ahh, I understand in that situation, then.
TaeshiLH: Souppy says he would have threatened to boot her if she didn’t shape up sooner.
Sammybeany: No pussy can be worth that. Maybe if her cunt is platinum plated and has a wet bar.
TaeshiLH: Gahahahahah ewwww.
Sammybeany: … wow, a broad mixing up a cocktail in her vagina. Hottttttt.
TaeshiLH: Poor Faddy can’t even finish to that. *Hit*
TaeshiLH: .. That sounds dangerous.
Sammybeany: Dangerously sexy.
<noby> nik brought a computer huh
<noby> who else lamed up lemocon
<DavidTL> I didn’t bring a computer
<masaki> no but you brought a complete bitch instead
<Popcorn> where did the name koosh koosh come from anyway
<SuitCase> Popcorn: koosh koosh is apparently some dumb slang term for vagina so it’s hilarious that his “pen name” is “vagina”
<Popcorn> it’s a good job I’m wearing tight trousers because I think my sides have split
<Taeshi> Lately I’ve been killing flies though so I’ve been simmering down.. because those bastards annoy me.
<Taeshi> If I could be Hitler I would extinguish all the flies.
<_5hfifty> only the jewish ones
<CSonicGo> gas them?
<Squishdiboo> Jew flies, don’t bother me.
<CSonicGo> just throw a quarter outside and hold the door open
<CSonicGo> problem solved
<Taeshi> Also hello, Donny!
<Donnyku> hi
<Donnyku> happy fun time?
<Taeshi> I’m grading sheets.
<Donnyku> grading sheets?
<Masaki> v. good bedsheet well folded a+
<Taeshi> Grading worksheets.
<Omega> The corners are so tight
<Omega> Everything will break
<SuitCase> Omega: your guitar pick will get you through!
<Omega> Nope
<Omega> It will just come out of the crack
<AK> I think a thinner guitar pick is need
<Omega> Well, it fits nicely into the crack
<SuitCase> but i think you’re too scared of breaking things
<SuitCase> you have to be strong with it
<SuitCase> and ram it in there, and pry it open fairly wide, and push into it
<Omega> As hard as I can
Fad posts pictures of his penis to #lemonade.
<SammyCat> This is a tragedy.
<SammyCat> I’m closing #lemonade.
<SammyCat> “would you be me e-girlfriend taeshi” “oh, souppy you had me at ‘8-)’ of course I will”
<Faccia> right
<Faccia> in a lemocon how do you refer to one another
<Masaki> well you see right I made them use my real name because the e is stupid
<Popcorn> are you saying sexton isn’t a stupid name
<Popcorn> do you see it is like you are a ton of sex
<Masaki> yes well alright my normal name is really fucking stupid as well
<Masaki> >:(
<Popcorn> ha ha prick
<Segaholic2> THAT’S A LOT OF SOCCER MOMS
<Segaholic2> THAT’S A LOT OF SOCCER MOMS
<Segaholic2> THAT’S A LOT OF SOCCER MOMS
<GerbilSoft> trivia
<GerbilSoft> what does a pedo store on his computer
<GerbilSoft> pedo files
<GerbilSoft> <_<
<Tank> god, i hate the sound of a bead dropping on a hardwood floor.
<SammyCat> Try to tighten your sphincter around the anal beads more tightly next time, then.
<Fadflamer> Good god
<Tank> …………….
Tank left the chat room.
<Tank> evan, you and i gotta chill sometime this summer! i’ll treat you to lunch and we can hang out with my friends!
<Evan> It won’t happen.
<SuitCase> man, i wish i could chill with lily. there’d be like caviar and champagne all day long
<Tank> SHHH. XD
<SammyCat> Man, I wish I could hang out with Lily. There’d be, like, hand jobs and blow jobs all day long.
<SuitCase> Fadsy|Striped|Pantsu: hey you
<Fadsy|Striped|Pantsu> Hey suitcase
<PerfectChaosZero> suitcase kikes penis
<SuitCase> PerfectChaosZero: fuck you we’re enemies according to blaze
<SuitCase> so get the fuck out i fucking hate you
<PerfectChaosZero> are wh
<PerfectChaosZero> we
<PerfectChaosZero> really?
<PerfectChaosZero> blaz cazy
<SuitCase> yeah, he banned me from #srb2 because you went all schizo and said that we were at war or some shit
<PerfectChaosZero> swear he hih on crack
<SuitCase> either that or he’s lying through his fat
<SammyCat> Lying through his beard, you mean.
Response to Squishi’s angstwhoring on Moogle Cavern forum
Being yourself is great if who you are is worth being.
No matter who you are or how much you hate yourself, you’re stuck with yourself for the rest of your life. You’d might as well get around to putting up with yourself—it’s not fun trying to change stuff about you. That just comes naturally, and it’s easier that way, unless said change makes you realize you’ve been a total douchebag idiot and look upon the past with nothing but remorse. But that’d happen either way.
I AM A GREAT ADVICE GUY
except I wish I was dead
After a conversation about Microsoft banning Xboxes because of mod chips
<SuitCase> eh. i just think it’s a bad PR move and a bad business move. there’s a lot of reasons i can think of as to why they shouldn’t do it, and the only reason why i think they should do it is a bit weak in comparison.
<Luckett_X> well done, you ambivalent aussie
<Luckett_X> i assume you take the same approach when thieving ants slowly eat every biscuit in your house
<Luckett_X> sure they dont touch the steaks, but those little fucks are eating all the Digestives they possibly can
<SuitCase> are the ants the mod chips?
<SuitCase> maybe chips could be mod chips. they got into a bag of doritos veronica and i bought a few weeks ago, and we had to brush them off before eating them
<Luckett_X> i’m going to piss on you.
<Masaki> look the irrelephant has come to visit
Regarding my eBay selling binge of 17 items
<SammyCat> Are you in desperate need of money or something?
<Evan> Sammy, stereotypical college students do anything for money.
<Luckett_X> taeshi has started charging for her services
<Luckett_X> good will only lasted so long
<SuitCase_> >:O
<SuitCase_> i paid her in pokeymans
<Luckett_X> i bet you call it your squirtle
<Luckett_X> dont you
<Luckett_X> fucking faggot
Regarding Lily taking Evan’s family to Australia for a holiday
<Tank> cheapest per person is like…1,500.
<Taeshi> See, Lily?
<Taeshi> So you should just kill your family and just bring Evarion with you. *Hit*
<Tank> it’s okay, i’m still coming to visit.
<Evan> Set it up so they die in a fire, collect the insurance, I’ll do the same to my parents, we go and we have a hot foursome.
<Evan> …except without that last part
<Carbon> Suitcase’s girth technically counts as two people
TaeshiLH: YOU ARE THE MARY SUE OF YOUR OWN SERIES. You failure at life.
Evang1109: I need some aloe for that burn.
<TENroaches|Rupert> What time is it there?
<TENroaches|Rupert> “quarter to roo”
<Taeshi> 1:00 A.M “XDDDDD”
Evang1109: I only slept in because it is Good Friday.
Evang1109: It might not have been a good Friday for Jesus BUT IT WAS FOR ME.
<alexis> Does she know that theres only like.. 3 channels on TV, and that the internet runs slower than molasses? Does she know that cars all suck, and that everyone’s accent is going to permanently make her start talking different? Does she know that theres no fresh water, and that tap water is brown? Does she know that chinese people randomly raid houses to steal insurance bonds and tax money?
<Masaki> and does she know that there are crocodiles???
<SuitCase> croikey mahte oim joe fawks and oim gunna have moiself soim meat poies and chips
<_5hfifty> good heavens, old bean, i’m suitcase and i’m rather vexed. i have no clue wether i’m british or australian, i’m sad to say
<DavidTL> I am currently all flustered by this behavior.
<BlinkAnjell01> oh totally
<BlinkAnjell01> like how you were last night with the sonic porn
<DavidTL> o my
<DavidTL> I TOLD YOU it was for historical purposes ;.;
<ksuno1> …
<BlinkAnjell01> since when is a penis historical =|
<DavidTL> When it’s Sonic’s.
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